Friday, 8 August 2014

Two headstrong women

I finally caught up with Brenda today. She's fine, she's just been busy. We chatted for quite a long while. She's excited about being able to say, "I have family in England!" She's so cute. We're getting a pet together when I move out there. We'll surprise Pete with it! (Hi, honey!)

She's been a real advocate for me. I told her the rough draft of the wedding schedule and she replied, "Sounds great!" She's the only one who has done this... and I'm really glad she has. I needed an advocate about it. I can be very headstrong, and I know I sometimes need reining in, although honestly, I don't think I need it as often as other people say I do. What I suggest (and then stick like glue to), I'm almost always open to suggestions about. But then, the suggestions come, and more often than not, they are things I've already considered, so I don't think they're worth re-examining. And if, having examined this point in the first instance, I arrived (tentatively) at a particular conclusion, and that's the best they've got to poke holes in it, I'm going to become more convinced that that is the correct position and therefore more entrenched in it, which is where people look at it and say "I won't be told." I think they're wrong.

Brenda is actually, just as headstrong as I am. Maybe more so! But, she wields that power well and sparingly. If it is something she can give on, she will, and is happy to do so. She knows the boundary of her own opinion and isn't domineering, and she possesses oodles of one of the qualities I admire most: emotional honesty. Honest about feelings, and particularly about motives. Straightforward, I guess. What you see is what you get. Which is... love. Gentleness (unless you cross her). Kindness.

And welcome.