Thursday, 11 September 2014

This happens. This happens every time.

This happens. This happens every time.

I start something off with gusto, and I work on it for the first chunk of time. Depending on the thing, and my motivation, and the deadlines, the chunk of time varies, but the pattern remains the same, and it's rarely ever more than a couple of days at the most.

Honestly, the more I can accomplish in this initial burst, the better, and ideally, projects would be so short that they can be done and dusted before I run out of steam.

Because run out of steam I do!

It starts with a slowing of progress, then the novelty wears off, so it's harder work (plus I do the easy stuff first, to gain momentum), then something comes up  - life gets in the way - there's always a fire to put out. Then that's over, but I've broken my momentum, so I now don't want to continue, then I try and drag myself to do it but it doesn't work so well, so now I'm carrying that heavy mental weight and not seeing any fruit from it, then I get overwhelmed, then I get discouraged, then I think the whole thing was a stupid idea to begin with, then I ignore it and hope it will go away, and at the same time, "if I don't face it, it won't hurt me, right?" Then I see the deadline looming, so this picking it up and mentally trying to force myself to do it increases, but still for little-to-no fruit, lather, rinse, repeat, until the deadline is HERE where I start again, for a bit, and then it's HERE and I'm extremely focussed and people need to either be helpful or get out of my way, because I can't afford to lose focus, but I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off, and not always in a good way.

So anyway, that's happened. Hit the slump with wedding planning arranging. Making a "done list" was incredibly helpful. A to-do list... not so much.